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Betzelem Elokim

A Jewish Journey Through Charlotte Mason Mother Culture

Book Review: Judah Maccabee Goes to the Doctor by Ann Koffsky

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


It’s flu season! Time for flu shots! And obviously that means it’s time for a book about vaccination! Did I ever expect to find a Jewish book about either going to the doctor generally or how vaccinations work specifically? No, not really.

Reading Judah Maccabee Goes to the Doctor by Ann Koffsky
Reading Judah Maccabee Goes to the Doctor by Ann Koffsky

But it exists as of about a year ago.

My kid loves it. Can’t get enough of it.

(In full disclosure, I know the author in real life, and she’s amazing. You can learn more about how she wrote this book and her other important work, Frum Women Have Faces – on the refusal of some frum publications to print pictures of women – on this podcast episode she did with The Chutzpah podcast! This review is an honest account of our experience with her book.)

And there’s even some kid-friendly science in it! It explains how vaccinations work in a way that isn’t dumbed down and it also shows why vaccinations are important socially (to protect the main character’s little sister, who’s too young for the shot). This book really did help my 2 year old with taking shots, and she quotes it in the doctor office. It doesn’t try to convince her that shots don’t really hurt or that she shouldn’t show her hurt. It’s honest – shots can hurt and it’s ok to cry a little.

I even convinced my pediatrician to get a copy!

The icing on the cake: it’s also a nice Chanukah story and a nice annoying-baby-sibling story, but let’s be honest, I have used it much more for the purpose of demystifying the doctor’s exam and shots. Now that the baby is starting to pester, maybe I’ll have more use for the sibling storyline!

 

If you want a more general (or non-Jewish) doctor’s visit book, I highly recommend It’s Time for Your Checkup by Shani Thornton. It has pictures of a real doctor and kid for each part of the doctor office experience! It also explains things in a scientific way that is kid-friendly but also respectful of their intelligence. Those parts are a little over my toddler’s head still, but the pictures are solid gold.

A Poem for the Outdoors

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Here is a beautiful poem for those of you who struggle with getting outdoors like I do.

“The Summer Day” by Mary Oliver

I especially like the last two lines:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Book Review: If All the Seas Were Ink

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


I’m going to lay it all out here: I loved this book. It’s one of my favorite books of the year, and the year is only half over and I read a lot of books.

If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan
If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan

If All the Seas Were Ink is a pleasure.

I don’t read much fiction and even fewer memoirs, but this was just a damn good story. Sure, it happened to a real person, but this felt like a great fiction read. I stayed up all night to finish, and I rarely do that since having babies. Ironically, I knew I would like this book because she started by explaining that it was simply the story as she experienced it, and that no one could write an objective memoir. That kind of intellectual honesty and attempt at kindness to the people in her memoir is unusual and much appreciated. (Whether anyone should write a memoir…or a blog…that involves speaking about other people is a question I’ve long struggled with.)

But why would I classify this book as Mother Culture?

This isn’t just a memoir about one woman’s divorce after making aliyah. It’s really more about her relationship with the Talmud. Yep, the Talmud. Post-divorce, she accidentally falls into learning Daf Yomi, the daily study of Talmud.

As someone less than experienced with the Talmud, this book was such a pleasurable way to get a kind of overview of the Talmud and some common and less-common stories from it. I would call this a living book for the Talmud. (If the concept of a “living book” is new to you, check out this podcast episode!)

I admit, it inspired me to do a little Daf Yomi myself. It only lasted about a month, but that’s a month of learning I wouldn’t have otherwise done. Nothing too crazy, especially as someone who is only a beginner learner of Talmud. I found a podcast with a 5-6 minute summary of each day’s daf (page): 5-Minute Daf Yomi with Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld. I continue to listen here and there, and maybe saying this aloud will make me take it more seriously. I really need to take my limmud (religious education) more seriously overall. It just gets so frustrating when my skills aren’t to the same level I can do in English with so many other topics. No adult likes feeling like a first grader again :/

But this book gave me back some of my passion for limmud, which has helped me stand up to that discomfort more often. It was an encouraging, enlightening, and engaging read. Definitely check it out!

Charlotte Mason: The Original Eclectic Homeschooler?

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Ok, I admit I can’t tell you the history of eclectic homeschooling or where it really began. But those of us within the Charlotte Mason community can get really caught up in the “purity” of her method. People on all sides debate whether and/or how CM can be “combined” with another philosophy, whether educational, parenting, religious, whatever. (In full disclosure, I try to be a mediocre CM purist myself.)

But I’m not convinced that CM’s method was pure to begin with.

I used to think so. But then I read The Schools We Need… And Why We Don’t Have Them.

This post is more intermediate level, so I apologize to any CM newbies. The power of the ideas in this post is suddenly realizing how these ideas are in nearly constant tension in Ms. Mason’s work, and it takes time to get that larger feel for her work and bring to mind lots of examples as you read. (Not to say I’m an expert; I’m not. I’m definitely intermediate level myself.)

And now back to the book.

The Schools We Need: And Why We Don't Have Them by E.D. Hirsch Jr
The Schools We Need: And Why We Don’t Have Them by E.D. Hirsch Jr

 

Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of the book overall. I was really glad when it was over. I really disagreed with the author on many philosophical points and felt he presented his “facts” as one-sided as he claims the other side is. Like how schools and teachers believe multiplication tables and straight rows of desks are harmful to children. No one told my teachers that! That’s all to say that I thought he brought some very interesting ideas to the table, then completely undermined himself as to why I should listen to his solutions.

(Sidenote: the most interesting ideas not relevant here were about why we need a nationwide standard basic curriculum – with freedom to teach above and beyond that, but to make sure the basics are covered at predictable and consistent times. I really never thought about how mobile our student population is – the statistics are shocking! but totally obvious once pointed out – and how unpredictable subject coverage is even within the same school, much less switching schools entirely. I missed and repeated several big things in my own education, and now I see why.)

A short disclaimer before starting. Most of the citations are coming from one section of the book, the one most dedicated to Romantic thought. I noted so many quotes in this book (in a non-permanent way) when I read it…and then foolishly returned it to the library. It was an interlibrary loan, and of course I didn’t get the same copy back. So unfortunately, much of this is from memory.

 

Two Worldviews in Conflict

But boy did he make me rethink Charlotte Mason. He never mentioned her at all, he probably doesn’t know who she is. The heart of his arguments frequently boils down to a conflict between Romanticism and the Enlightenment and how their ideals remain in conflict today. He is fighting for an emphasis on the Enlightenment ideals, and he believes the educational establishment is bogged down in useless and ineffective Romantic ideals and that those ideals are the root of the issues in the American educational community. (Sidenote: he is probably right that for every educational reform that’s tried and fails, people usually just shout that they didn’t do it right, and it would have worked if it’d been tried properly – I feel people make that argument about education and parenting all the time.)

In short, I think Ms. Mason lived at a time of intense debate whether English education would be Enlightenment-focused or Romantic-focused, and I think she came to the conclusion that both were wrong but both had excellent points. I think she synthesized the two, taking what she felt worked from each system to play up their strengths and downplay their weaknesses. In effect, she was an eclectic Enlightenment-Romantic educator.

 

The Enlightenment Philosophy

Of course I can’t find it now, but his view of an Enlightenment education is what is condescendingly called “drill and kill.” Fact collection, memorization, a standard curriculum, basically he seems to describe a Classical homeschooling philosophy (he’s working in a charter school system, so I’m translating it to what I know of the homeschool world on his behalf). He has a great point that Americans have developed the idea that all memorization is inherently soul-killing and to be avoided at all costs and only a measure of last resort. He stops short of saying memorization can be fun, but he seems to imply it. And even if it isn’t fun, he’s of the opinion it’s your duty to learn it anyway. You’ll be better off for it.

 

The Romantics Come In

Ms. Mason was born at the height of the Romantic period. She definitely loves the poetry of Wordsworth! The Romantics, in the author’s words, had a “quasi-religious faith…in everything ‘natural.’ … How could truly natural development go wrong so long as it was unthwarted? After all, natural instincts come from a divine source. It is only the separation from that divine source through the artificial impositions of human culture and society which can lead the child astray.” (74).

Many Romantics compared children to flowers and plants, like Friedrich Froebel, the father of Kindergarten (garden of children) and someone Ms. Mason spoke positively about. She felt that the implementation of his ideas had gone astray (sound familiar?): “Though every mother should be a Kindergartnerin, in the sense in which Froebel would employ the term, it does not follow that every nursery should be a regularly organised Kindergarten. Indeed, the machinery of the Kindergarten is no more than a device to ensure the carrying out of certain educational principles, and some of these it is the mother’s business to get at, and work out according to Froebel’s methods––or her own” (Vol. 1, p179) “But I wish that educationalists would give up the name Kindergarten. I cannot help thinking that it is somewhat of a strain to conscientous minds to draw the cover of Froeblian doctrine and practice over the broader and more living conceptions that are abroad to-day.” (Vol. 1, p197).

“It is by now a deeply rooted sentiment in American education to think that what is natural works automatically for the good. Everything done naturally has an inner necessity and rightness. Americans have tended to be optimistic that things left to their own devices will tend to work out in the end – which is to say that Romanticism is deep-dyed in our culture. [Wow, guilty as charged, personally.] In education, this optimistic cast of mind induces trust in the child’s natural development, and suspicion of harsh discipline, bookish hard work, and other forms of artificial stimulation and constraint.” (76). He then lists Pestalozzi, Herbart, and Froebel as leading educational European Romantics, all people Ms. Mason spoke of in depth. She was obviously highly influenced by the Romantic zeitgeist.

Most notably, the Romantics were obsessed with being outdoors. I wish I could find the quote in my mind! A very famous writer who said something like how schoolrooms are always a bad thing and everyone should just play in nature instead.

Likewise, we can see Ms. Mason’s idea of the “quiet growing time”: “From Romanticism, the American educational community inherited the faith that early childhood is a tie of innocence and naturalness, a time for being a child. ‘Shades of the prison house’ begin to close all too quickly around the young child. It is wrong to spoilt the one time of life whe children can develop in tine with the order of things. It is wrong to be parents who live out their own unfulfilled ambitions by rushing their children, creating unseasonable pressure, and ruining their lives. Self-evidently, premature book learning goes against nature” (79).

The author does not like Romantics. At all. “It is an educational view that can glide easily into disparagement of book learning and into anti-intellectualism.” (75). That certainly feels familiar in today’s day and age: obsession with “natural” products, the distrust to the point of panic over “unnatural” things, the predatory naturalism of MLMs, and fake news all feel very “Romantic” to me when he puts it this way. But are these ideas really so horrible in themselves? Must they result in these outcomes? I don’t believe these are such awful ideas, but maybe that’s just the awful Romanticism seeped down into my bones!

 

Opposing Views of Personhood

The Enlightenment perspective he presents is pessimistic about human nature. In fact, Thomas Jefferson, the Founding Father he says wrote the most on public education, felt that history must be the main subject of education so that you can learn how awful human nature is and thus “knowing it to defeat its views.” (75).

The Romantics looked at human nature in a way that is much more familiar to the CM community: “First, Romanticism believed that human nature is innately good, and should therefore be encouraged to take its natural course, unspoiled by the artificial impositions of social prejudice and convention. Second, Romanticism concluded that the child is neither a scaled-down, ignorant version of an adult nor a formless piece of clay in need of molding, rather, the child is a special being in its own right with unique, trustworthy – indeed holy – impulses that should be allowed to develop and run their course,” p74.

Interestingly, it’s the Enlightenment thinkers, those who “broke with sectarian religion and the idea of original sin” (73), are the ones that seem most in line with traditional Western views on human nature. Ms. Mason’s writings on human nature and the desire to be good and do one’s duty are some of the most debated I see among devote Christians interested in Ms. Mason’s philosophy, and they clearly derive a lot from the Romantic views of self.

This author, presenting his own view, hits quite close to what I think Ms. Mason believed: “History, including the recent history of American education, shows that human affairs are rarely brought right by letting them take their natural course. Human nature, to the extend that it can be known, should not be left to its own devices. We humans have contradictory impulses, and the choices we make about which ones to develop and make dominant should not be left to accident and chance. True enough, we cannot defeat human nature, but we can try to bring out the best and thwart the worst. The aim of civilization,  and by consequence of education, is less to follow nature than to guide it toward humane and worthy ends” (77).

 

Are They Really Mutually Exclusive?

I don’t think so. This author assumes you can be either Enlightened or Romantic, and that there’s a right and wrong answer to that question. In fact, “[i]n the annals of recorded thought, European Romanticism, with its (alas) powerful influence on American culture and education, has been a post-Enlightenment aberration, a mistake we need to correct” (77).

“Many parents wistfully regret that school should impose discipline and hard work on very young children. Many parents have internalized the either-or polarity between joyful, nonacademic, ‘developmentally appropriate’ education and joyless, unnatural academics. They identify school learning with cramped abstraction and artificiality and link ‘developmentally appropriate’ learning with concrete and creative play that engages all the senses and teaches as nature commands, at a slow but sure pace. That challenging subject matter can be combined with joyful and concrete activities which engage the senses is not imagined as a possibility. ‘There will be a time for all that later’ is a recurrent theme of parents” (79-80). He then goes on to cite how other countries have studies that show the benefit of “academically challenging early education,” most notably France and Japan. I taught in the French public schools. My middle school, high school, and community college students seemed no different than my American counterparts when I was in school. I certainly don’t think they were particularly better educated or knew more or had better moral fiber. And both the teachers and the students counted down the days to each school break every 6 weeks. They were far less likely to enjoy learning, in my personal experience, and the teachers were far less likely to enjoy teaching. In Japan and South Korea, we’ve all heard about the high child suicide rate due to academic pressures. I’m just saying, maybe they’re not all they’re cracked up to be when viewed from only one angle.

 

Overall, I think he’s wrong. I think Ms. Mason understood the strength and weaknesses of both approaches and found a third way. However, as an aspiring “CM purist” myself, I find it really helpful to understand this tension and I understand her Volumes better when I can see which philosophy she’s leaning toward at the time. Her works are a balancing act between these two approaches to the world, a downright moderate stance. Seeing when she sides with one school (or when she rejects them both) gives me a deeper understanding of her philosophy and the intent behind certain recommendations. It’s also really interesting!

At the end of the day, I think the author is guilty of the same thing he accuses modern American parents and educators: false dualities and purism at the expense of learning from other perspectives.

An Excellent Art and Nature Resource from the Audubon Society

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


I woke up to an excellent surprise email this morning: the Audubon Society has made available 435 high resolution prints of bird prints from The Birds of America by John James Audubon for free! For the mere “price” of a newsletter signup, you can create your own collection of beautiful, accurate, and detailed prints for your family.

(You can find hardcover, paperback, and kindle versions of The Birds of America here. It seems there have been many printings over the years, but this one seemed the most available and affordable. For a modern book, you should try field guides from National Geographic, the Audubon Society, Sibley, and Peterson’s. They usually come in different versions for the Eastern/Central and Western US. I really enjoyed the Nat Geo Backyard Guide to the Birds of North America.)

I chose birds that sounded familiar to me, even though I wasn’t always sure which variety of the species is the one I know. I’m still very much an amateur, but looking through these prints made me realize how much I’ve learned over the last year! I’ve only read four books and manned a bird feeder for one winter. Only one book included birds local to my area (Long Island), and it wasn’t even a bird-specific book. Yet I recognized many of the birds from my feeder and from my reading. Except the sparrows. I still can’t figure out which kind of sparrows they are. All the small brown birds are hard for me to differentiate at this stage.

So how might you use these prints? The only limit is your imagination, honestly.

  • An artist study of Audubon as an artist, not focusing on the birds themselves, but more on his technique and style
  • Art for your home, to bring a little nature indoors
  • Nature study, specifically bird identification
  • Attention training! Compare two plovers or owls or puffins or ducks… what’s different? What’s similar?

How else would you use them? Have a favorite print? Personally, I really like the flamingo because no matter how many times I’ve seen them in real life, I refuse to believe they’re real creatures. Surely they only live in places like Wonderland!

 

The Birds of America | The Audubon Society

Short Biography of John James Audubon | The Audubon Society

Sidenote, while researching this, I found out there’s a Birds of America coloring book! Ummm yes please.

Defining Charlotte Mason’s Philosophy in 100 Words

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


What a challenge, right? If you’re familiar with the Charlotte Mason philosophy, you know how hard this is! Especially if you want to avoid terms of art that someone who doesn’t know CM wouldn’t understand!

I’m doing the Afterthoughts blog’s Charlotte Mason Bootcamp, and an assignment involved reading some attempts to distill the CM philosophy into 100 words or less. A commenter on one post claims Ms. Mason herself did so in 86 words:

“The object of education is to put a child in living touch with as much as may be of the life of Nature and of thought…. a child has natural relations with a vast number of things and thoughts: so we must train him upon physical exercises, nature, handicrafts, science and art, and upon many living books….Add to this one or two keys to self knowledge, and the educated youth goes forth with some idea of self management, with some pursuits, and many vital interests.” Vol 1, p4, 7, p4

I think this is a great summary, but it wasn’t exactly Ms. Mason summarizing herself. These are three different quotes pulled from the Preface.

What do you think about this summary in Ms. Mason’s words? Is it enough or should we be trying to improve on it? Would you have chosen different quotes from the Preface or her works as a whole?

 

How would I summarize it? Can I? This kind of forced-short narration attempt seemed like a great way to “test” my current understanding of Ms. Mason’s philosophy and what’s important to me about it. Perhaps at the end of this bootcamp, I’d write a very different summary? Maybe I’ll do it again if I remember!

Now for my first attempt at a summary in about 100 words:

Children are born persons, created betzelem Elokim. There is no separation between sacred and secular knowledge, all reflect and stem from Gd. Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life. Habits are the basis of education, especially the habits of focused attention, obedience, and truthfulness. The teacher sets a wide feast of subjects and ideas, and the student chooses what to internalize. Using interesting and narrative books, the student learns from the best minds throughout history and connects with them, then narrates back what he has heard to ensure understanding and internalization. The child connects with the world and Gd through nature and real life activities and relationships.

108 words! Not bad! I expected to go through about 3 drafts, but I feel pretty good about this one.

What do you think? What would you have chosen to include that I didn’t? Would you word something differently?

Personally, looking at it now, I really liked a sentence from a commenter’s attempt: “Focused attention at short, varied lessons keeps the mind fresh and leaves free time for personal interests.” I wish I could elaborate on the ideas of atmosphere, obedience, and discipline since so many people have a very different understanding of those words than Ms. Mason promotes. But I chose to leave them alone, and if someone wanted to ask, I could go into more detail after this elevator pitch!

 

Further Reading:

How Do You Define CM in 100 Words? | Archipeligo (blog of Ambleside Online, I believe)

Defining Charlotte Mason (a follow-up post to the one above)

The Rise of Nontraditional Homeschoolers

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Homeschooling is just for families like the Duggars, right?

There’s a grain of truth to that: the modern homeschooling world has largely been run by white, middle/upper-class religiously and politically conservative Christian families, most located in the suburbs and rural areas. And the perception is that those families are specifically evangelical Christians who don’t believe in evolution.

But things are changing.

The homeschooling world is becoming very diverse, in every sense of the term: racial, religious, socio-economic, more dads. (I was surprised to find and meet so many Catholics and other “high Church” folks, but I don’t know whether they’ve always been there or that group is also on the upswing.)

I’ve found it interesting how so many people speak of homeschooling in terms of a division between “secular/atheist” and “Christian.” Because there are many people left out there, including our family! I think it’s problematic that we are basically forced to group everything as either “secular” or “Christian,” when it’s really a division of “Christian vs. not-Christian.” I’m not really secular, but that’s the group I fall under in this false dichotomy we’ve created for reasons that seem unclear and are probably a fluke of history in a post-Scopes Trial world.

I have seen an unfortunate number of negative comments against non-Christian homeschoolers and blindly racist comments because, as is now my favorite analogy, “fish can’t see the water they swim in.” I hope that as the homeschool world diversifies and increases, we’ll all learn from each other and create materials that allow each of us to provide the education that our families need. Not every parent is a crazy researcher/DIY person like me or the five million other bloggers out there. As more voices come forward, it will become easier to find the voice that resonates with you, but it’ll also become harder to find them in the ocean of voices. Ain’t that how it always is? A double-edged sword.

People chose to homeschool for any number of reasons, though most people assume it’s only a religious choice (though religion may still be a factor of course). Military families are a large subgroup of homeschoolers for obvious reasons: they move a lot. Black families are increasingly choosing to homeschool because of institutional racism, racist bullying, and low educational expectations for black children. Jewish families choose to homeschool for cultural reasons just as much as religious ones, and it can be hard to separate the two. Urban and rural families are choosing to homeschool because their local public school is underperforming. Families from different ethnic backgrounds (including Jewish families) may want history and foreign language curricula that reflect their own heritage. Families with special needs and/or gifted kids want their kids to have more individualized support or may think that the current educational model doesn’t meet their kids’ needs. I’d bet that a year from now, we’ll see articles about parents who began homeschooling now because of safety concerns. The choice of how to educate your child, if you choose to wade into it, is deeply complicated. We all choose and weigh factors differently, as we should. Al pi darko, train your children according to their way. Just as we’re seeing a growth in demand for Montessori Jewish dayschools, we will Gdwilling see an increase in demand for all educational choices and an increased respect for making those choices.

There’s no wrong answer for why people homeschool. And no one makes that call thoughtlessly. It must be actively chosen and sacrificed for in our society. That deserves respect, even if you disagree.

 

Here are some articles to read about how homeschooling is changing!

The Rise of Homeschooling Among Black Families | The Atlantic

Homeschooling Without God | The Atlantic (a lot of unnecessary religion slamming rather than statistics, but you get the point and an insider’s perspective)

Homeschooling: A Growing Trend | Jewish Action (but predicts that it will always be small in the orthodox community)

Choosing Homeschooling | Chabad.org

Homeschooling While Orthodox | Lilith Magazine

Homeschooled Jews Are a Minority Within a Minority | The Forward

Homeschooling: The Wave of the Future | Jewish Home LA

Book Review: The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Let’s just say it upfront: this is an excellent resource, especially if you’re new to Jewish songs.

The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children
The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children

I think my copy was supposed to come with a CD, but it didn’t, and I guess I forgot to follow up on that. I did buy it used, but… On the other hand, from what I remember reading in the Amazon reviews, the CD only offers a partial clip of the song. So they recommended YouTube anyway to get a full version of the song.

I admit, the book looks intimidating. It’s actual sheet music. I could read sheet music…for a flute…in the sixth grade. There’s no way I can sing from it. So the value of this book isn’t in the sheet music for me, at least not at this point in my life.

It’s the words. The lyrics.

And words it has. It includes transliteration, Hebrew text, and an English translation. You couldn’t ask for more. (Of course, always take translations with a grain of salt, especially when poetry is involved.) Depending on the space considerations for each individual song, the words are often spread across two pages. Transliteration is written under the notes on the sheet music, which I find difficult to read but better than nothing. The Hebrew text and translation are in blocks below or to the side. Here is Adon Olam as an example:

Adon Olam text

Adon Olam sheet music

I can’t hear words in songs to save my life. I can only sing along with a song AS it is being played, and I will have zero memory of the words at all other times. In fact, I cannot sing Shalom Aleichem unless someone else is singing it. Despite singing it every week for a decade or so, I still only know the words as the song is actually happening. And certainly not the order of the verses! I’m always a fraction of a second behind the group because my ear has to hear it first. And there’s probably song mumbling instead of real words, depending on the song. I think I pull it off well, except now I’ve told you my dirty little Shabbos secret. Whatever the cause, this is a limitation I have to manage as best I can. Music is not my strength. I will probably never be “good” at it, but I can definitely improve and already have with the help of this book and YouTube.

This book helps so much. I have the words right in front of my face, and all the songs are located in one place. I can lead our “davening” in Morning Time with only this one book and YouTube on my phone. So far I’ve found everything I’ve gone looking for. I’m sure there’s something from the davening that isn’t there (maybe some of the Psalms?), but it’s a very comprehensive collection.

Except. (My favorite part. What can I say, I’m easily amused.) Despite being called “The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children,” there is actually a volume 2! Note that this book doesn’t say anything about being volume 1. They made a “complete” songbook and then realized it’s not complete. I want to buy the second volume just to see what they could have possibly forgotten!

Since people often care about where authors are coming from, this book is published by the Reform movement (by the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, which is now called the Union for Reform Judaism). I don’t think the denomination affects the book, but it may affect which tunes are printed in the sheet music, since sometimes different tunes are more common in different places. But they do include multiple tunes for several songs, so maybe it’s not a problem after all. And while I don’t think this makes the book any less acceptable to an orthodox parent, there are a lot of English lyric songs. Many are hokey for sure, but that’s kid songs for you. Here’s a less-than-hokey English-y song.

The Dreidel Song by Debbie Friedman
The Dreidel Song by Debbie Friedman

How to Use It

Now, the nitty gritty. How do I actually use this book?

I use it in our Morning Time with my toddler (and technically the baby). With songs, I almost always start with YouTube, and I use YouTube to learn the song. Just because of how my brain works, I prefer videos that show the lyrics as they are sung. No music videos here. Transliterated videos are best for me to get my sea legs, but I’ve done it from Hebrew-only too, it just takes longer. We – meaning I – sing from the video every morning (except Shabbat, when I often skip the song altogether if I don’t know it well enough from memory).

Even when I know the tune and some of the words (like Adom Olam, the first song I tackled), I’m just weak at tying the words to the song and building the memory of it. That’s just not how my working memory works. On the other hand, learning a song to a bracha I already had memorized (Modeh Ani) took only a couple of days, though admittedly it’s much shorter.

With Adon Olam, I sang along with the video, as many words as I could, 2-3 times in a row. It seemed like a waste to get my footing in the song by the end and then stop. Eventually, as I got more comfortable with it and could sing a majority of the words along, I reduced to once a day. As I get more comfortable with the song, I begin shifting to singing along with written Hebrew lyrics if I’m using transliteration.

Useful sidenote: I’m a very slow Hebrew reader, which is why I like transliteration even after all these years. But this practice with song videos has made my brain significantly faster with Hebrew. I’m still weak, but maybe after a year or two of this I’ll be half-decent!

Where’s the book in all this? It’s coming. Once I’ve built this auditory foundation through YouTube, I begin singing from this book. I use book darts (these are the awesome ones I use that are pictured above on Adon Olam) to mark the page for easy finding. When we reach that part of Morning Time, I flip open the book and sing the song right from the lyrics written on the page. Only Adom Olam still requires the book, but I can (and do) spend half the song watching the toddler like a hawk instead of looking at the page. I always keep my finger alongside the text so I can find my place again more easily. One day, I’ll move beyond needing the book’s help too, but for this stage, the Complete Jewish Songbook is an excellent resource. And given the nature of the musical education I need to give my children, this book will be dog-eared. I was hesitant to spend the money, but it’s worth even the full price if you feel like songs are difficult for you. There are few books I can imagine getting so much use out of, year after year.

Songs I’ve learned with the toddler so far, with links to the YouTube video I used if I used one:

  • Adom Olam
  • Modeh Ani (this is an earworm, be prepared to sing it all day)
  • The Four Questions/Mah Nishtana
  • Dayenu
  • Maoz Tzur
  • V’Ahavta (from the Shema) is our current project

Here’s about half the table of contents:

Complete Jewish Songbook TOC

Complete Jewish Songbook TOC

You Represent Public Opinion to Your Child

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Charlotte Mason writes about “the force of public opinion in the home” in reference to the creepy-crawlies that make me cringe:

Some children are born naturalists, with a bent inherited, perhaps, from an unknown ancestor; but every child has a natural interest in the living things about him which it is the business of his parents to encourage; for, but few children are equal to holding their own in the face of public opinion; and if they see that the things which interest them are indifferent or disgusting to you, their pleasure in them vanishes, and that chapter in the book of Nature is closed to them. (Vol. 1, p58)

She is absolutely right, and I try to keep this passage front of mind every time we’re outside.

She continues with the story of a particular naturalist:

It is likely that the Natural History of Selborne would never have been written had it not been that the naturalist’s father used to take his boys on daily foraging expeditions, when not a moving or growing thing, not a pebble nor a boulder within miles of Selborne, escaped their eager examination. Audubon, the American ornithologist, is another instance of the effect of this kind of early training. “When I had hardly learned to walk,” he says, “and to articulate those first words always so endearing to parents, the productions of Nature that lay spread all around were constantly pointed out to me . . . My father generally accompanied my steps, procured birds and flowers for me, and pointed out the elegant movements of the former, the beauty and softness of their plumage, the manifestations of their pleasure, or their sense of danger, and the always perfect forms and splendid attire of the latter. He would speak of the departure and return of the birds with the season, describe their haunts, and, more wonderful than all, their change of livery, thus exciting me to study them, and to raise my mind towards their great Creator.” (Vol. 1, p58-59)

I distinctly remember being a “miniature naturalist” as a kid, not afraid of any creepy crawlies (except for a memorable encounter with a scorpion). But at some point, that changed. When did I become afraid of nature? When did I start withdrawing in disgust from a worm? I can’t answer that, but I would bet it had a lot to do with the reactions of adults around me and what they valued instead (the indoors).

So I do my best to breathe deeply and smile when we encounter bugs and worms outside. I purposely point out to the toddler any bugs I notice so we can observe them. I’m not perfect, and I’m still stiff about it, and I still jump. But I’m working on it. It can be done. I loved these things once, and I intellectually know they’re nothing to be afraid of, so surely I can get back to that state again with the help of some enthusiastic companions?

Placing a worm on my chair and proclaiming she'd found a "needle."
Placing a worm on my chair and proclaiming she’d found a “needle.”

A “Quick” Method to Make Decisions

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Charlotte Mason isn’t a checklist or a curriculum you can pull off a shelf. It’s a philosophy, an approach to family and raising children, an approach to life. But how can you translate her ideas into concrete educational decisions (and life decisions)? Ms. Mason has a very succinct suggested analysis:

“Why must the children learn at all? What should they learn? And, how should they learn it?” Vol. 1, p171

Well now, isn’t that easy?

Ok no. The questions are quick, but the answers probably aren’t.

But at least it gives a framework to analyze decisions, and even to consider the CM approach itself. What do I want for my children? Based on what I know, what I see, and what I’ve researched, how do I think children learn? Especially those with ADHD, since statistically I will likely parent at least one ADHD kid. Once I have that as a baseline, what does CM say? Does that mesh with what I already know and/or believe?

Yes. So far, it’s like giving words to what I knew but couldn’t have said out loud. It just instinctively feels right. Except some of the weird Victorian health “science,” obviously.

Going forward, this set of questions can help me (and you, no matter which educational/parenting philosophy you follow) analyze new curricula, teaching styles, programs, extracurriculars, anything.

Short and sweet but cuts right to the heart of the matter of educating children.

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