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Betzelem Elokim

A Jewish Journey Through Charlotte Mason Mother Culture

Book Review: Busy Bags Kids Will Love by Sara McClure

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Me: I’m not a crafty mom.

Also me: OMG MY KID IS ABOUT TO TURN 3 AND IS DRIVING ME INSANE AND THEN THIS HAPPENED

Busy bag supplies

When I say I’m not crafty, I mean exactly that. Only about six weeks ago did I finally introduce my toddler to playdough. I am mess- and craft-averse.

Yet somehow I ended up in Michaels this morning buying this bunch of supplies (supplemented by some things I already had) and making a bunch of busy bags.

I guess I’m sort of officially a working mother now, besides the writing that gets done haphazardly. I work a few hours out of the home each week part of the year, so nothing too much. But I still have to find ways to keep my toddler busy without involving Daniel Tiger any more than I need to. (I used to be pretty much screen-free but now low-screen for the toddler only, and only Daniel Tiger. Because of ADHD, I try to be more limited with screens than I might otherwise have been.) The kids have a babysitter about half of the time, and the other half they come with me. Enter…busy bags.

I had heard of busy bags before but like I said, I’m craft-averse. Then I got this job and also heard the Homeschool Solutions podcast episode with Sara McClure: What to Do with Toddlers While Homeschooling.

Somehow I ended up purchasing this book.

It was a good call.

I’ve made 8 bags so far and have supplies for many more, plus duplicates since so many of the packages have more supplies than I need. I’m still deciding what to do with the duplicate possibilities.

My precioooooous.

I put these 8 bags together, from opening packages to putting them in my purse in under 2 hours. While eating lunch and watching Atlanta (it’s a very good show if you have access to Hulu or FX!). And three involved PAINTING or glue!!

Sure, not every project resonated with me, but most felt do-able. She’s not ready for some of them, but I know they’ll be a good idea.

This afternoon, I taught the toddler how to “sew” with a shoelace. She also learned (tried to learn) to open a clothespin. I’m also ready to teach her how to scissors, which I’ve been avoiding for a long time. It doesn’t feel so intimidating anymore.

I highly recommend Busy Bags Kids Will Love!

Book Review: Laying Down the Rails for Yourself by Sonya Shafer

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Habit training our children is a foundational principle of Charlotte Mason.

In her very Twenty Principles she lays it out:

“…we are limited to three educational instruments – the atmosphere of environment, the disciple of habit, and the presentation of living ideas.”

…By EDUCATION IS A DISCIPLINE, is meant the discipline of habits formed definitely and thoughtfully, whether habits of mind or body.”

(Vol. 1, Preface)

And what does that attention to habit get you? No less than…

“The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days.”

Vol. 1, p136

Smooth and easy days sure sounds nice. Mason says the top 3 habits for a child are obedience, attention, and truthfulness. How are you on all those habits? Great? Oh yeah, me too. Totally.

The author of Laying Down the Rails for Yourself, Sonya Shafer, is also the creator/author of some of the most popular Charlotte Mason curriculums at the site Simply Charlotte Mason (Christian curriculums). She also has many free ebooks you can download, plus a blog and a podcast that is an audio version of the blog posts. Here, she’s written a small book on how to apply Mason’s habit training methods to yourself.

Laying Down the Rails for Yourself by Sonya Shafer
Laying Down the Rails for Yourself by Sonya Shafer

Shafer advocates on her blog that the top 3 habits for a homeschooling mom are orderliness, adhering to a regular routine, and the habit of a sweet, even temper. What, you didn’t know your temper was a habit? Now you know. That was a hard pill to swallow when I first heard this post on the podcast, but the more I think about it, the more I agree with her. If only agreeing were enough to make it suddenly appear in my life!

So how does one cultivate these habits…or any other? Especially with the new secular year approaching, a lot of us are reviewing our lives and habits, seeing how we can make the next year better than this one. Habits are the best place to focus, but it’s hard to reconcile all the different habit advice on the market (and the web). Believe me, I’ve read a lot of them.

What I like about this book is that it takes all the different analogies and “word pictures” that Mason uses to describe habits and breaks them down. Train tracks, well-trained riding horses, good investments, etc. Further, it follows Shafer as she changes her own health habits, applying each chapter to her story.

I found it encouraging and a different perspective than I’m used to in habit books, plus the bonus of further geeking out on CM. It also has a handy list of the habits Mason herself wrote about in her volumes in the back of the book. I read this over Shabbat, so I couldn’t take notes, but from what I recall, this was a secular resource, though her reasons for her habit change were religious.

Highly recommend.

Further reading: The other perspective-shifting habit book I’ve read was Gretchen Rubin’s Better than Before. However, if you struggle(d) with disordered eating, I do not recommend this book because I think it advocates a very disordered approach to eating as a “health” practice.

The other (obvious) further reading is the original Laying Down the Rails by Sonya Shafer, which is a lightly annotated and organized collection of all Ms. Mason’s quotes about habits in her Volumes. I was skeptical about buying a book full of quotes in books I already owned, but it’s organized neatly by topic, which makes it a great reference. It can also be read straight through, but it’s not the most engaging for a straight read, given the nature of the resource. I’m still reading it straight anyway, of course. Because that’s how I roll.

What’s your favorite habit resource? And what habits are you working on? Personally, I’m in the middle of trying to establish a regular routine.

An Amazing Book: White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Normally, almost all my books come from the public library. That’s how I stumbled upon this book. But it was so good that I bought a copy for myself, and I’m recommending it left and right!

Really. If you’re a white person (like me), you should read White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo.

It is important. So important. This has been one of the most important reads of my life. While it’s about racism, I found the ideas helpful to understand all conversations about bigotry, whether discussing transphobia or people responding to me pointing out antisemitism against me.

Being perfectly honest, I checked this book out because I wanted to understand “other” white people. Because clearly I’m “one of the good ones,” someone who has been trying to learn about racism and be a good ally for years.

Oh ho, this book was all about me. Yes, it also helped me understand my interactions with other people (especially now that I’m less likely to stay silent), but there was so much going on inside myself that I never recognized. Why I was silent most of the times when close friends said explicitly racist things, why I didn’t challenge hard-to-explain-to-the-unconverted racist statements and actions, why my heart literally races at top speed when I read these books about racism. My anxiety is literally triggered by these conversations.

The biggest take-away that I remind myself very frequently now: no matter how uncomfortable taking about racism is or what it costs me in friendships, that will never be as big a cost as racism costs to people of color. Prioritizing my comfort is being complicit, and it is a mark of privilege for me to say “this makes me anxious, so I won’t do it.” An anxious person of color gets no such reprieve.

Obviously, I’m not perfect. I have a ton of work to do. But I’m doing it, and it gets easier the more I speak to others, as I figure out how to put these very complicated concepts into words. I’ve lost a few friends, some my choice and some theirs. I don’t need people in my life who say such horrible things and dehumanize people of color, especially when they have reacted so poorly when the problematic nature of their statement is pointed out (as kindly as I can, but really, does dehumanization require kindness?). Those are not middos (character traits) I want to cultivate in myself, and you are often the sum of the people you spend the most time with.

As Jews, we exist in a liminal state between whiteness and Other. Most American Jews are white, whether or not they want to admit it. We benefit from white privilege all the time, while we also struggle with antisemitism all the time. One foot in, one foot out. I particularly see this myself as someone who wears a headscarf for religious reasons. Here in NY, people know that’s a Jewish thing but I also fear Islamaphobia, especially when I visit my family back down South where orthodox Jews are uncommon.

We’re not the only people balancing on that razor’s edge, but we’re a very large group who are. Jewish tradition speaks strongly of social justice, and the Torah itself tells us at least 36 times (there’s debate whether there’s more) to care for the “stranger” because we were strangers too. A few thousand years and that hasn’t really changed. I’m disturbed by the anti-stranger sentiment within the Orthodox community, and I think it’s absolutely against the Torah. Anti-racism work is religious work for me, what I’ve been commanded to do. I just didn’t see the full extend of the work before because I had been blinded by the White Supremacy soup I’ve been surrounded by since birth. Personally, I know I’ve been surrounded a bit more by that soup than the others in my Jewish community because I converted as an adult. Perhaps I experience antisemitism and Otherness differently than they do because I grew up without personal exposure to bigotry. I chose to join a group who faces bigotry, which is not a choice many white people make (not saying they should, it’s ok to be a white Christian). I had a taste of it growing up in an atheist family in the Bible Belt, but it’s nothing like having armed guards in my house of worship. Granted, I used to fear my children’s school one day being shot up (as Jewish institutions have been), but now it seems all schools face that issue 🤷

Given that it’s such an important book, I’m happy to report it’s pretty affordable as new books go, under $11 as of when I bought it and today (a month later).

Further reading: To continue the work started in this book, I highly recommend the free workbook Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad. It’s set up as a 28 day journaling process, but you can do it in a shorter or longer time frame if that works better for you. I have found it incredibly useful.

Right now, I’m also reading Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America by Jennifer Harvey. It’s excellent.

I’m continuing my anti-racist education, continuing to work through the workbook, planning to join an anti-racism course that’ll be offered in the spring, and working my own way through the Black Lives Matter syllabus. I’m doing a Charlotte Mason #MotherCulture challenge this year, and like last year, have mapped out a reading list for myself for 2019, with different books in different categories. I added anti-racism work as a category for this year to teach myself parts of American history I was not taught and more about the experiences of other marginalized groups in America, particularly the black community. I also added a memoir category, and about half of the books I’ve mapped out (what actually happens may be pretty different, as 2018 was) are activists or other change-makers.

What are you doing to challenge yourself to be a good ally to groups different from your own?

I Finally Censored a Book

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


We all get the urge to censor books. At least I think so 😉

We’re reading a good book, and then…ughhhhhhhhhh something makes you groan.

Why is that there? Why on earth did that seem like a good idea? Why did authors have to be so racist/fatphobic/horriblehumanbeings/whatever?

It’s often not so easy to censor a book. So usually, if it bothers me, it goes into the rehoming pile. I certainly have enough books left, and there’s no mandatory book list my toddler will be required to read by 18. (I know it feels like there is, but there isn’t. I promise. I’m a perfectly well-adjusted adult who has never read the Little House series, though I do plan to read it. Whether I read it to my kids remains to be seen after I’ve read it myself. I know all this is practically heresy in the homeschooling world.)

But I like Harold’s Circus by Crockett Johnson. And my toddler loves it too. It’s why she insists on pretending to fly on the flying rings every half hour, holding something in the air over her head, demanding that I get her down from the high rings. Groooooan.

But there’s a particularly offense page about the “fat lady” of the circus.

No thank you. But Gd had mercy, and the offending two pages are the same page. It can be removed without changing the story. We just didn’t read it for months, but she’s wising up to our method. Drastic measures had to be taken. Remove the content or remove the book.

I have a few other beefs with the book, but they’re pretty picky. I’ll keep the book until they bother me enough.

So I tore the page out. Believe me, it hurt me more than it hurt the book. Tearing a page out of a book?? Heavens to Betsy. Sacrilege! It tore out cleanly, thank Gd, yet I still hesitated to throw it in the recycling bin. Once I threw it away, it’d be real. No backsies. No taping or gluing it back in. But I knew I’d never put it back in the book.

Get out of my house. Good riddance.

Book Review: If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


This book is the ultimate in Jewish #MotherCulture. It is meta Mother Culture, an inspirational and fascinating story of the process of Mother Culture within one Jewish woman in Jewish texts.

If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan
If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan

This is the story of Kurshan learning Daf Yomi over the course of about seven and a half years. YEARS. That’s dedication, even before you add in the three children she had in that time.

Kurshan wasn’t a mother when she began her Talmud journey. In fact, her journey was precipitated by her divorce from her first husband. Things were hard, and this helped her through and through all the hard times that came after that.

“Mother Culture” is not a process just for mothers. The way I see it, it’s just more important to encourage in mothers because mothers are the first people to stop their self-education because they’re so busy educating little people. And because the society around us tells us that we should sacrifice ourselves at every turn. If we’re doing something for ourselves, for our own benefit, society says that is selfish and harms our children. Mothers are an at-risk group, in a sense. It is so easy, and so culturally encouraged, to lose ourselves. And so we let ourselves atrophy.

And what could be more “selfish” than something that takes a significant amount of time, daily, for more than seven years?? How many women do you know who are comfortable committing to a daily practice for seven years? I know I don’t feel like I could because what will my life be like then?, I barely have the time now, sure the afternoon is free now but will it be in three months, I could make it work for a little while but what about when the rest of my family when the newness wears off… I could write excuses all day long to not sign up for a seven year program! But really, it’s not for seven years. It’s for today. Maybe tomorrow. Take one day at a time.

We adults, even us mothers, are “born persons,” as Mason would say. Our education, our enjoyment, our growth matters. Simply because we are people separate from our partners and children. Some in our culture try to make a “loophole” for mothers to do such “selfish” things for ourselves like sleep, exercise, and read books, but it’s such a backhanded permission: “your growth benefits your children directly” or “you can take care of yourself so that you’re less snappy at your family.” It’s still always couched in terms of other people’s needs, not ours.

Well guess what. Your needs matter, and your needs are rarely at odds with your family’s. Your needs are just as important as your children’s, and all of you deserve (and have the responsibility to) continue growing and challenging yourself every day. I’m writing this just as much for myself as for any of you. I need to hear it too.

If starting Daf Yomi is something that interests you, you don’t even need to understand Hebrew or Aramaic to learn something. For about a month (sadly only a month), I listened to a really nice podcast that summarizes the day’s Daf Yomi in 5-6 minutes: 5 Minute Daf with Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld. I still check in from time to time, and this is where I’ll start if I come back to this practice. But don’t worry, I have plenty of other practices keeping me busy right now!

So what are you doing for you?

Book Review: Exploring the Other Island: A Seasonal Guide to Nature on Long Island by John Turner

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


What a great find that I can’t believe I didn’t find before! My local chapter of the Sierra Club has a newsletter, and one month, there was a book review for this book, Exploring the Other Island: A Seasonal Guide to Nature on Long Island by John Turner. I was sold on trying it as soon as I saw the title!

Exploring the Other Island: A Seasonal Guide to Nature on Long Island by John Turner
Exploring the Other Island: A Seasonal Guide to Nature on Long Island by John Turner

A seasonal nature guide, tailored to my immediate location? How much better could it get?? Sometimes taking on a Charlotte Mason-style approach to nature is completely overwhelming for a newbie like me, but having a book like this can make it so easy.

Taking the advice in the book is a different question. So many good intentions, so few followed-through this summer. Buuuuuuuut. I did more than I have ever done before. I noticed more because I knew more to look for. And we did try a couple of things. It also built some of that foundational knowledge that it’s going to take me years to actually build into a large nature knowledge. Little by little wins the race.

Each chapter focused on a different animal or plant or phenomenon that was relevant to a particular season. This topical-within-the-season approach was very approachable and more interesting than a more scattershot “these are tidbits about everything you might find in this season” approach would be. I came away from each chapter feeling like I’d had a Charlotte Mason-style object lesson. Further, it gave me an overview of the geography of Long Island, the different ecosystems available, and some of the strengths of various parks and nature preserves. Most people wouldn’t guess it, but Long Island is chock full of nature. I find it overwhelming. Over 60 state parks, from what I remember, so where should I even start?! A book like this helps narrow the list.

 

This is a book I plan to revisit multiple times. In fact, I think I’ll place it on hold at the library right now so I can make some goals for this winter, especially since I already feel overwhelmed by winter and “what can we do??” Knowing me, I’m eventually going to buy this book.

 

Is there a book like this tailored to your immediate region within your state? If so, does your library carry it? If not, you can ask them to! My library keeps an anonymous suggestion box right beside the reference desk. Make good use of the suggestion box! I suspect few people do, so anyone who makes the effort is already far more likely to get what they ask for!

Book Review: If All the Seas Were Ink

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


I’m going to lay it all out here: I loved this book. It’s one of my favorite books of the year, and the year is only half over and I read a lot of books.

If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan
If All the Seas Were Ink by Ilana Kurshan

If All the Seas Were Ink is a pleasure.

I don’t read much fiction and even fewer memoirs, but this was just a damn good story. Sure, it happened to a real person, but this felt like a great fiction read. I stayed up all night to finish, and I rarely do that since having babies. Ironically, I knew I would like this book because she started by explaining that it was simply the story as she experienced it, and that no one could write an objective memoir. That kind of intellectual honesty and attempt at kindness to the people in her memoir is unusual and much appreciated. (Whether anyone should write a memoir…or a blog…that involves speaking about other people is a question I’ve long struggled with.)

But why would I classify this book as Mother Culture?

This isn’t just a memoir about one woman’s divorce after making aliyah. It’s really more about her relationship with the Talmud. Yep, the Talmud. Post-divorce, she accidentally falls into learning Daf Yomi, the daily study of Talmud.

As someone less than experienced with the Talmud, this book was such a pleasurable way to get a kind of overview of the Talmud and some common and less-common stories from it. I would call this a living book for the Talmud. (If the concept of a “living book” is new to you, check out this podcast episode!)

I admit, it inspired me to do a little Daf Yomi myself. It only lasted about a month, but that’s a month of learning I wouldn’t have otherwise done. Nothing too crazy, especially as someone who is only a beginner learner of Talmud. I found a podcast with a 5-6 minute summary of each day’s daf (page): 5-Minute Daf Yomi with Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld. I continue to listen here and there, and maybe saying this aloud will make me take it more seriously. I really need to take my limmud (religious education) more seriously overall. It just gets so frustrating when my skills aren’t to the same level I can do in English with so many other topics. No adult likes feeling like a first grader again :/

But this book gave me back some of my passion for limmud, which has helped me stand up to that discomfort more often. It was an encouraging, enlightening, and engaging read. Definitely check it out!

Charlotte Mason: The Original Eclectic Homeschooler?

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Ok, I admit I can’t tell you the history of eclectic homeschooling or where it really began. But those of us within the Charlotte Mason community can get really caught up in the “purity” of her method. People on all sides debate whether and/or how CM can be “combined” with another philosophy, whether educational, parenting, religious, whatever. (In full disclosure, I try to be a mediocre CM purist myself.)

But I’m not convinced that CM’s method was pure to begin with.

I used to think so. But then I read The Schools We Need… And Why We Don’t Have Them.

This post is more intermediate level, so I apologize to any CM newbies. The power of the ideas in this post is suddenly realizing how these ideas are in nearly constant tension in Ms. Mason’s work, and it takes time to get that larger feel for her work and bring to mind lots of examples as you read. (Not to say I’m an expert; I’m not. I’m definitely intermediate level myself.)

And now back to the book.

The Schools We Need: And Why We Don't Have Them by E.D. Hirsch Jr
The Schools We Need: And Why We Don’t Have Them by E.D. Hirsch Jr

 

Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of the book overall. I was really glad when it was over. I really disagreed with the author on many philosophical points and felt he presented his “facts” as one-sided as he claims the other side is. Like how schools and teachers believe multiplication tables and straight rows of desks are harmful to children. No one told my teachers that! That’s all to say that I thought he brought some very interesting ideas to the table, then completely undermined himself as to why I should listen to his solutions.

(Sidenote: the most interesting ideas not relevant here were about why we need a nationwide standard basic curriculum – with freedom to teach above and beyond that, but to make sure the basics are covered at predictable and consistent times. I really never thought about how mobile our student population is – the statistics are shocking! but totally obvious once pointed out – and how unpredictable subject coverage is even within the same school, much less switching schools entirely. I missed and repeated several big things in my own education, and now I see why.)

A short disclaimer before starting. Most of the citations are coming from one section of the book, the one most dedicated to Romantic thought. I noted so many quotes in this book (in a non-permanent way) when I read it…and then foolishly returned it to the library. It was an interlibrary loan, and of course I didn’t get the same copy back. So unfortunately, much of this is from memory.

 

Two Worldviews in Conflict

But boy did he make me rethink Charlotte Mason. He never mentioned her at all, he probably doesn’t know who she is. The heart of his arguments frequently boils down to a conflict between Romanticism and the Enlightenment and how their ideals remain in conflict today. He is fighting for an emphasis on the Enlightenment ideals, and he believes the educational establishment is bogged down in useless and ineffective Romantic ideals and that those ideals are the root of the issues in the American educational community. (Sidenote: he is probably right that for every educational reform that’s tried and fails, people usually just shout that they didn’t do it right, and it would have worked if it’d been tried properly – I feel people make that argument about education and parenting all the time.)

In short, I think Ms. Mason lived at a time of intense debate whether English education would be Enlightenment-focused or Romantic-focused, and I think she came to the conclusion that both were wrong but both had excellent points. I think she synthesized the two, taking what she felt worked from each system to play up their strengths and downplay their weaknesses. In effect, she was an eclectic Enlightenment-Romantic educator.

 

The Enlightenment Philosophy

Of course I can’t find it now, but his view of an Enlightenment education is what is condescendingly called “drill and kill.” Fact collection, memorization, a standard curriculum, basically he seems to describe a Classical homeschooling philosophy (he’s working in a charter school system, so I’m translating it to what I know of the homeschool world on his behalf). He has a great point that Americans have developed the idea that all memorization is inherently soul-killing and to be avoided at all costs and only a measure of last resort. He stops short of saying memorization can be fun, but he seems to imply it. And even if it isn’t fun, he’s of the opinion it’s your duty to learn it anyway. You’ll be better off for it.

 

The Romantics Come In

Ms. Mason was born at the height of the Romantic period. She definitely loves the poetry of Wordsworth! The Romantics, in the author’s words, had a “quasi-religious faith…in everything ‘natural.’ … How could truly natural development go wrong so long as it was unthwarted? After all, natural instincts come from a divine source. It is only the separation from that divine source through the artificial impositions of human culture and society which can lead the child astray.” (74).

Many Romantics compared children to flowers and plants, like Friedrich Froebel, the father of Kindergarten (garden of children) and someone Ms. Mason spoke positively about. She felt that the implementation of his ideas had gone astray (sound familiar?): “Though every mother should be a Kindergartnerin, in the sense in which Froebel would employ the term, it does not follow that every nursery should be a regularly organised Kindergarten. Indeed, the machinery of the Kindergarten is no more than a device to ensure the carrying out of certain educational principles, and some of these it is the mother’s business to get at, and work out according to Froebel’s methods––or her own” (Vol. 1, p179) “But I wish that educationalists would give up the name Kindergarten. I cannot help thinking that it is somewhat of a strain to conscientous minds to draw the cover of Froeblian doctrine and practice over the broader and more living conceptions that are abroad to-day.” (Vol. 1, p197).

“It is by now a deeply rooted sentiment in American education to think that what is natural works automatically for the good. Everything done naturally has an inner necessity and rightness. Americans have tended to be optimistic that things left to their own devices will tend to work out in the end – which is to say that Romanticism is deep-dyed in our culture. [Wow, guilty as charged, personally.] In education, this optimistic cast of mind induces trust in the child’s natural development, and suspicion of harsh discipline, bookish hard work, and other forms of artificial stimulation and constraint.” (76). He then lists Pestalozzi, Herbart, and Froebel as leading educational European Romantics, all people Ms. Mason spoke of in depth. She was obviously highly influenced by the Romantic zeitgeist.

Most notably, the Romantics were obsessed with being outdoors. I wish I could find the quote in my mind! A very famous writer who said something like how schoolrooms are always a bad thing and everyone should just play in nature instead.

Likewise, we can see Ms. Mason’s idea of the “quiet growing time”: “From Romanticism, the American educational community inherited the faith that early childhood is a tie of innocence and naturalness, a time for being a child. ‘Shades of the prison house’ begin to close all too quickly around the young child. It is wrong to spoilt the one time of life whe children can develop in tine with the order of things. It is wrong to be parents who live out their own unfulfilled ambitions by rushing their children, creating unseasonable pressure, and ruining their lives. Self-evidently, premature book learning goes against nature” (79).

The author does not like Romantics. At all. “It is an educational view that can glide easily into disparagement of book learning and into anti-intellectualism.” (75). That certainly feels familiar in today’s day and age: obsession with “natural” products, the distrust to the point of panic over “unnatural” things, the predatory naturalism of MLMs, and fake news all feel very “Romantic” to me when he puts it this way. But are these ideas really so horrible in themselves? Must they result in these outcomes? I don’t believe these are such awful ideas, but maybe that’s just the awful Romanticism seeped down into my bones!

 

Opposing Views of Personhood

The Enlightenment perspective he presents is pessimistic about human nature. In fact, Thomas Jefferson, the Founding Father he says wrote the most on public education, felt that history must be the main subject of education so that you can learn how awful human nature is and thus “knowing it to defeat its views.” (75).

The Romantics looked at human nature in a way that is much more familiar to the CM community: “First, Romanticism believed that human nature is innately good, and should therefore be encouraged to take its natural course, unspoiled by the artificial impositions of social prejudice and convention. Second, Romanticism concluded that the child is neither a scaled-down, ignorant version of an adult nor a formless piece of clay in need of molding, rather, the child is a special being in its own right with unique, trustworthy – indeed holy – impulses that should be allowed to develop and run their course,” p74.

Interestingly, it’s the Enlightenment thinkers, those who “broke with sectarian religion and the idea of original sin” (73), are the ones that seem most in line with traditional Western views on human nature. Ms. Mason’s writings on human nature and the desire to be good and do one’s duty are some of the most debated I see among devote Christians interested in Ms. Mason’s philosophy, and they clearly derive a lot from the Romantic views of self.

This author, presenting his own view, hits quite close to what I think Ms. Mason believed: “History, including the recent history of American education, shows that human affairs are rarely brought right by letting them take their natural course. Human nature, to the extend that it can be known, should not be left to its own devices. We humans have contradictory impulses, and the choices we make about which ones to develop and make dominant should not be left to accident and chance. True enough, we cannot defeat human nature, but we can try to bring out the best and thwart the worst. The aim of civilization,  and by consequence of education, is less to follow nature than to guide it toward humane and worthy ends” (77).

 

Are They Really Mutually Exclusive?

I don’t think so. This author assumes you can be either Enlightened or Romantic, and that there’s a right and wrong answer to that question. In fact, “[i]n the annals of recorded thought, European Romanticism, with its (alas) powerful influence on American culture and education, has been a post-Enlightenment aberration, a mistake we need to correct” (77).

“Many parents wistfully regret that school should impose discipline and hard work on very young children. Many parents have internalized the either-or polarity between joyful, nonacademic, ‘developmentally appropriate’ education and joyless, unnatural academics. They identify school learning with cramped abstraction and artificiality and link ‘developmentally appropriate’ learning with concrete and creative play that engages all the senses and teaches as nature commands, at a slow but sure pace. That challenging subject matter can be combined with joyful and concrete activities which engage the senses is not imagined as a possibility. ‘There will be a time for all that later’ is a recurrent theme of parents” (79-80). He then goes on to cite how other countries have studies that show the benefit of “academically challenging early education,” most notably France and Japan. I taught in the French public schools. My middle school, high school, and community college students seemed no different than my American counterparts when I was in school. I certainly don’t think they were particularly better educated or knew more or had better moral fiber. And both the teachers and the students counted down the days to each school break every 6 weeks. They were far less likely to enjoy learning, in my personal experience, and the teachers were far less likely to enjoy teaching. In Japan and South Korea, we’ve all heard about the high child suicide rate due to academic pressures. I’m just saying, maybe they’re not all they’re cracked up to be when viewed from only one angle.

 

Overall, I think he’s wrong. I think Ms. Mason understood the strength and weaknesses of both approaches and found a third way. However, as an aspiring “CM purist” myself, I find it really helpful to understand this tension and I understand her Volumes better when I can see which philosophy she’s leaning toward at the time. Her works are a balancing act between these two approaches to the world, a downright moderate stance. Seeing when she sides with one school (or when she rejects them both) gives me a deeper understanding of her philosophy and the intent behind certain recommendations. It’s also really interesting!

At the end of the day, I think the author is guilty of the same thing he accuses modern American parents and educators: false dualities and purism at the expense of learning from other perspectives.

Book Review: The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


Let’s just say it upfront: this is an excellent resource, especially if you’re new to Jewish songs.

The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children
The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children

I think my copy was supposed to come with a CD, but it didn’t, and I guess I forgot to follow up on that. I did buy it used, but… On the other hand, from what I remember reading in the Amazon reviews, the CD only offers a partial clip of the song. So they recommended YouTube anyway to get a full version of the song.

I admit, the book looks intimidating. It’s actual sheet music. I could read sheet music…for a flute…in the sixth grade. There’s no way I can sing from it. So the value of this book isn’t in the sheet music for me, at least not at this point in my life.

It’s the words. The lyrics.

And words it has. It includes transliteration, Hebrew text, and an English translation. You couldn’t ask for more. (Of course, always take translations with a grain of salt, especially when poetry is involved.) Depending on the space considerations for each individual song, the words are often spread across two pages. Transliteration is written under the notes on the sheet music, which I find difficult to read but better than nothing. The Hebrew text and translation are in blocks below or to the side. Here is Adon Olam as an example:

Adon Olam text

Adon Olam sheet music

I can’t hear words in songs to save my life. I can only sing along with a song AS it is being played, and I will have zero memory of the words at all other times. In fact, I cannot sing Shalom Aleichem unless someone else is singing it. Despite singing it every week for a decade or so, I still only know the words as the song is actually happening. And certainly not the order of the verses! I’m always a fraction of a second behind the group because my ear has to hear it first. And there’s probably song mumbling instead of real words, depending on the song. I think I pull it off well, except now I’ve told you my dirty little Shabbos secret. Whatever the cause, this is a limitation I have to manage as best I can. Music is not my strength. I will probably never be “good” at it, but I can definitely improve and already have with the help of this book and YouTube.

This book helps so much. I have the words right in front of my face, and all the songs are located in one place. I can lead our “davening” in Morning Time with only this one book and YouTube on my phone. So far I’ve found everything I’ve gone looking for. I’m sure there’s something from the davening that isn’t there (maybe some of the Psalms?), but it’s a very comprehensive collection.

Except. (My favorite part. What can I say, I’m easily amused.) Despite being called “The Complete Jewish Songbook for Children,” there is actually a volume 2! Note that this book doesn’t say anything about being volume 1. They made a “complete” songbook and then realized it’s not complete. I want to buy the second volume just to see what they could have possibly forgotten!

Since people often care about where authors are coming from, this book is published by the Reform movement (by the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, which is now called the Union for Reform Judaism). I don’t think the denomination affects the book, but it may affect which tunes are printed in the sheet music, since sometimes different tunes are more common in different places. But they do include multiple tunes for several songs, so maybe it’s not a problem after all. And while I don’t think this makes the book any less acceptable to an orthodox parent, there are a lot of English lyric songs. Many are hokey for sure, but that’s kid songs for you. Here’s a less-than-hokey English-y song.

The Dreidel Song by Debbie Friedman
The Dreidel Song by Debbie Friedman

How to Use It

Now, the nitty gritty. How do I actually use this book?

I use it in our Morning Time with my toddler (and technically the baby). With songs, I almost always start with YouTube, and I use YouTube to learn the song. Just because of how my brain works, I prefer videos that show the lyrics as they are sung. No music videos here. Transliterated videos are best for me to get my sea legs, but I’ve done it from Hebrew-only too, it just takes longer. We – meaning I – sing from the video every morning (except Shabbat, when I often skip the song altogether if I don’t know it well enough from memory).

Even when I know the tune and some of the words (like Adom Olam, the first song I tackled), I’m just weak at tying the words to the song and building the memory of it. That’s just not how my working memory works. On the other hand, learning a song to a bracha I already had memorized (Modeh Ani) took only a couple of days, though admittedly it’s much shorter.

With Adon Olam, I sang along with the video, as many words as I could, 2-3 times in a row. It seemed like a waste to get my footing in the song by the end and then stop. Eventually, as I got more comfortable with it and could sing a majority of the words along, I reduced to once a day. As I get more comfortable with the song, I begin shifting to singing along with written Hebrew lyrics if I’m using transliteration.

Useful sidenote: I’m a very slow Hebrew reader, which is why I like transliteration even after all these years. But this practice with song videos has made my brain significantly faster with Hebrew. I’m still weak, but maybe after a year or two of this I’ll be half-decent!

Where’s the book in all this? It’s coming. Once I’ve built this auditory foundation through YouTube, I begin singing from this book. I use book darts (these are the awesome ones I use that are pictured above on Adon Olam) to mark the page for easy finding. When we reach that part of Morning Time, I flip open the book and sing the song right from the lyrics written on the page. Only Adom Olam still requires the book, but I can (and do) spend half the song watching the toddler like a hawk instead of looking at the page. I always keep my finger alongside the text so I can find my place again more easily. One day, I’ll move beyond needing the book’s help too, but for this stage, the Complete Jewish Songbook is an excellent resource. And given the nature of the musical education I need to give my children, this book will be dog-eared. I was hesitant to spend the money, but it’s worth even the full price if you feel like songs are difficult for you. There are few books I can imagine getting so much use out of, year after year.

Songs I’ve learned with the toddler so far, with links to the YouTube video I used if I used one:

  • Adom Olam
  • Modeh Ani (this is an earworm, be prepared to sing it all day)
  • The Four Questions/Mah Nishtana
  • Dayenu
  • Maoz Tzur
  • V’Ahavta (from the Shema) is our current project

Here’s about half the table of contents:

Complete Jewish Songbook TOC

Complete Jewish Songbook TOC

Book Review: The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow

Disclosure: Some of the links below may be affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. How else will I afford my used book addiction? You can read my full disclosure statement here.


I own few children’s books as pretty as The Seashore Book.

The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow
The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow

It’s full of beautiful, realistic paintings (if very dated to the early 90s in the few pictures with people).

The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow
The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow

This first page of the book sets the story: the book is told in the form of a mother telling her child a story about visiting the seashore, where her son is the main character. It’s a calming, quiet story perfect for bedtime or during the baby’s nap.

The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow
The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow

Amazon tells me that the book was recently re-released last year (2017), and it looks like they re-did some of the pictures in a brighter style and changed the formatting a bit. From just a glimpse of the sample pages on Amazon, I actually prefer the original 1994 edition. Unfortunately, the lowest price for that version on Amazon as of today is $40 (new; used copies as low as $5.50). Compared to $14 for the new version, no contest, I’d buy the new one. However, this older book is a great candidate to look for at library used book sales, library discard sales, and other used book sources. I found it for $4! And it was in person, so no shipping!

A side benefit of the book I didn’t expect: I don’t know how to tell stories. I much prefer reading them aloud. This book is a great middle ground because by reading the book, I learn one way to tell a story and build some “muscle memory” of phrasing, so to speak.

Because we often visit the beach, I prioritize finding naturalist-style books about the ocean and beach, and this one is excellent. Highly, highly recommend The Seashore Book!

 

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